TORONTO – WIND Mobile chairman and former CEO Anthony Lacavera is still unaware that the company’s new ownership group has moved him into a greatly diminished honourary position due to the poor reception on his WIND Mobile phone.
“Goddamn this is such a pain in the ass,” said the Canadian mobile titan as he waved his new Huawei in front of the nearest window. “Shit, you know, I just have this funny feeling that call was really important.”
According to Lacavera, he had received a call a few minutes earlier from the head of WIND’s ownership board, but was only able to make out a series of distorted warbling noises before it cut out entirely.
“I’m in the middle of downtown Toronto and it’s getting only one bar and ‘emergency only’. Fixing this will be the first item on the agenda of tomorrow’s board meeting,” said the entrepreneur, completely oblivious to the fact that he no longer had authority to set the board’s agenda.
Lacavera flatly refused to follow reporters’ suggestions to call WIND’s customer service department from one of their phones.
“The last time I did that I spent three hours on hold and when I told the representative how angry I was he just asked if I wanted to top up and migrate to their new $35 plan.”
After getting a new sim card at a Wind Mobile store, his third in as many weeks, Lacavera was able to get two bars of reception. Unfortunately this lasted for only a few seconds before the battery died, having been drained by the device’s long struggle for network connectivity.
