OTTAWA – Trendspotters have identified the hottest destination for Canadians this summer, and it is putting as much distance as possible between you and Pierre Poilievre.
From Acadie-Anapolis in the east to Edmonton-Riverbend in the West, thousands of Canadians are looking to see what position Conservative Party leader Poilievre has taken and are moving swiftly in the opposite direction.
“My mental health was really bad from work stress,” said Katy Merrifield, a communications director from Ottawa. “I had a terrible boss who was constantly complaining about everything and filming himself being angry. He was the worst! But I’m still young so I’m going back to the chill vibes of the west coast in B.C. and getting far away from this political cesspool. Bye-bye, Pierre!”
In fact, the most cited reason for the desire of Canadians to go away this summer was a toxic work environment.
“This real weasel of a guy sent letters to some of us at work asking us to justify our roles,” said Marilyn Gladu of Sarnia. “I don’t need that shit in my life. So I’m taking a camping holiday in the beautiful Canadian outdoors with this guy who says he has a really big tent. It’s going to have to be to fit my opinions!”
Others want to get away after being stuck in dead end jobs.
“I’m an ambitious person,” said Edmonton’s Matt Jeneroux. “The outfit I was working for was spinning its wheels and going nowhere – mostly because we had a complete dick as a leader who was hated by everyone. So I’m spending this summer jumping on a ship with a new boss who says he will give me a top job and I won’t have to change any of my ideas. It’s basically the same company but with a much bigger market share. Woo hoo!”
Meanwhile, new NDP leader Avi Lewis is encouraging Canadians to join him in sunny Toronto, so long as they travel by bike or electric car.
