DAVOS, SWITZERLAND – Following a headline-making address about middle powers of the world uniting against hegemonic power, an amped up Mark Carney returned to the stage for a fiery encore speech about maximizing tax free savings accounts.
“TFSAs offer the flexibility to save for many goals in one account! Throw ya hands in the air!” yelled Carney to an enthusiastic World Economic Forum crowd. “Make some noise for flexible savings vehicles!”
Moments after his already-famous “third path” speech was met with a rare Davos standing ovation, the hyped crowd of international political and corporate leaders welcomed Carney back on the stage to deliver a blistering 25-minute encore address about how TFSAs are tax-sheltered, meaning they can hold either savings or investments, or both.
“I thought his speech about banding together against reckless American economic coercion was inspiring,” explained Japanese prime minister Sanae Takaichi, “But then Mark came out and started spitting bars about a TFSA can offer me increased flexibility over a standard RRSP. That’s like World Economic Forum catnip!”
Pacing back and forth on the WEF stage, Carney extolled the world’s ally nations to join Canada, not just in preserving a rules-based order, but also in opening TFSAs to enjoy both tax-free growth and withdrawals.
“I think I saw a Dr. Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala breakdancing down in the crowd,” noted a breathless Emmanuel Macron. “Things got pretty crazy when Carney started literally rapping about spousal income splitting opportunities.”
Back in Mar-a-lago, a concerned president Donald Trump was reportedly asking his son Barron, “Hegemon – how dangerous of a Pokémon is that?”
