WASHINGTON D.C. – U.S. President Donald Trump disinvited Prime Minister Mark Carney from his newly-established “Board of Peace”, comprised of Trump, various war criminals, authoritarian strongmen, and arch supervillains.
Days after inviting Carney to join the Board, for a low buy-in of $1 billion, Trump addressed the PM in a post on his Truth Social network:
Dear Prime Minister Carney:
Please let this Letter serve to represent that the Board of Peace is withdrawing its invitation to you, and we will immediately give your seat to someone much cooler, possibly Magneto, or that Ice King Guy from the last, best season of Game of Thrones. Or maybe Kim Jong Un.
Thank you for your attention to this matter!
Flanked by his fellow Board of Peace members, including Viktor Orbán, Cobra Commander, Thanos, Jared Kushner, Frieza, Skeletor, Nayib Bukele, and Darth Maul, Trump addressed journalists from the Oval Office. Asked whether he was revoking Carney’s invitation because of the international accolades Carney received for his anti-hegemony speech in Davos, Trump fumed:
“No, I’m publicly disinviting him because he already called me and turned the offer down, you idiot!”
Trump did reveal that other Canadians are being considered to join the Board of Peace including rapacious industrialist Cyril Sneer, train track enthusiast Snidely Whiplash, and Kevin O’Leary. Trump then demanded that Homelander read back the meeting’s minutes, so the Board of Peace could resume making plans to ethnically cleanse Gaza.
Reached for comment, Prime Minister Carney asserted that he couldn’t join Trump’s board as he was too busy ignoring Canadian cost of living concerns.
At press time, Trump assured Megatron not to worry about having accidentally crushed Marco Rubio to death.
