TORONTO – Seeking to give riders a productive activity during its numerous and lengthy delays, the Toronto Transit Commission has launched a new summer contest called Catch That Rat!
Rather than attempt to solve the frequent issues inconveniencing its 700,000 daily riders, the TTC has spotlit its with a new rodent-focused competition.
“A lot of things can force a subway car to stop,” says befuddlingly unconcerned TTC Operations Manager Huey Kim. “Human error, accidents. Sometimes all the stopping drives passengers to a despair-driven fist fight, which is kind of funny if you don’t think about it too much.”
“At the same time, my supervisor was on my back to plug a pretty gnarly rat infestation — on account of them setting a bad example by not paying their fares. And then it hit me, baby! Two birds, one stone — and about six thousand ‘gutter skimmers’. That’s what I call the rats.”
A visibly chuffed Kim calls the game easy to learn but “addictively dangerous”: When subway operators encounter a delay with an expected wait time of fifteen minutes or more, the car doors are automatically opened and a pre-recorded announcement directs passengers to climb down from their cars and enter the tunnels.
According to the game’s page on the official TTC website, liability regulations prevent them from providing participants with any weapons or trapping tools, but a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy encourages them to do “whatever it takes” to catch as many rats as possible. When the delay is over, a signal sounds and passengers have thirty seconds to return to their car. Whoever brings back the most rodent carcasses will have a $25 credit added to their Presto card within 45 business days.
“Oh, and let me stress this,” adds Kim, “as we had some confusion the first week. The rats have to be dead.”
Though Toronto’s labyrinthine subway tunnels serve a total of 70 stations and cover almost 80 km, Kim isn’t worried about the TTC’s 700,000 daily riders not making it back before their journey resumes.
“We’re sort of famous for our long delays,” he boasted, “so folks can take their time. One lady spent hours building this contraption with the third rail, like something out of that board game, Mouse Trap. Kids usually just use their bare hands.”
If the contest’s trial period is successful, Kim says the TTC plans to adapt it to tackle other operational challenges with potential spin-off initiatives like Catch That Crowbar-Wielding Registered Sex Offender Bike Thief Named Paul That We Lost Track Of and a Nutcracker-themed holiday event called Catch That Rat King.
“The winner of that one gets to be the first person to ride the Eglinton LRT,” beams Kim. “In 2031.”
