TORONTO – Demoralized and frustrated by the team’s lack of playoff success, Toronto Maple Leafs fan Mark Montrose says that if Hart, Rocket and Lindsay award winner Auston Matthews isn’t willing to take less than what he could get on the open market on an extension, then he’d rather he not sign at all.
“Sure his stats are great but the Leafs haven’t won anything with Matthews,” said Montrose, whose team made the playoffs once in the decade before Matthews was drafted and have been every single season since he joined. “Unless he’s willing to sign a hometown discount I’d rather trade him.”
“Think how many gritty third liners who play with heart and passion and score 12 goals a season and get a season ending injury in March we could sign with his money!”
Matthews recently lead the Leafs to their first second round appearance in decades and is widely seen as the second or third best player in all of the NHL. With that in mind he could receive an offer as high as 15 million a season if he were to test free agency. But Leafs fans who have never offered to reduce their own salary at their job are demanding he take 3-4 million less to help the team’s tricky Salary Cap situation.
“It’s a hard cap league and we all need to make sacrifices,” said Montrose. “And rather than not sign a fourth liner who is allergic to scoring to a 2.4 million dollar deal or constantly deal away young, cheap prospects for expensive rental players, we’ve decided to focus on the guy who scored 60 goals in 73 games.”
“The key to being a great team is overspending on average players and getting cheap with your superstars, every great armchair GM knows that.”
Leafs fans have also announced that William Nylander should take a discount on his next contract because his hair looks too good flowing out the back of his helmet and he shouldn’t be able to have that and a 10 million dollar contract.
