Airports, am I right?
With a video of Deputy Prime Minister Chrystia Freeland being harassed and cornered in an airport elevator going viral last week – not cool – we decided to respond in the only sensible fashion: by making sure we got a comment from every single male Canadian party leader, as well as some who aren’t even leader yet.
Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was quick to immediately condemn the abusive verbal attack – so quick that we hadn’t even reached out to his office yet!
“Let me be clear, I absolutely denounce the extremely disturbing harassment of my colleague Deputy Prime Minister Freeland,” added Trudeau emphatically, “mainly because it allows me to avoid talking about things like skyrocketing housing prices or COVID numbers rising nationwide.”
“If you could immediately call me for comment whenever any other women get harassed at any time so that I can avoid having to say anything about inflation, I’d really appreciate it,” Trudeau added. What an ally!
Next up was Conservative Leadership hopeful Jean Charest, who we accidentally called when we meant to dial Pierre Poilievre for a juicier quote. “What happened to Minister Freeland was gross intimidation, and every political leader must speak out and condemn this. Speaking of political leaders, how am I doing? Have you heard anything about the leadership race? Oh God, I can’t get trounced by that campus conservative ventriloquist doll.”
Aw, hang in there Jean!
Before we reached out to said ventriloquist doll, we got a comment from NDP Leader Jagmeet Singh (“Just put me down for whatever JT said, thanks!”) From there, the hunt began to corner CPC Leadership hopeful Pierre Poilievre into giving a quote regarding Freeland’s public intimidation by a burly Alberta man who is almost certainly gonna vote for him.
After days of cat and mouse chasing, we finally cornered Poilievre at a campaign event. “This harassment is absolutely unacceptable, and I am speaking of course of people being mean to me online and unfairly pointing out how my policies are ‘bad’ and my populism is ‘super fake’. In conclusion, I accept you apology.”
Well there you have it, each of the 4 male party leaders responding to the shocking accosting of Chrystia Freeland, who we considered getting a quote from, but then were like “nah”.
