BEIJING – With many countries refusing to allow Huawei technology because of its links to Chinese intelligence agencies, as well as the company’s CFO still waiting for extradition to the US, many high up in the Chinese Communist Party are just grateful for the distraction from their having put over a million members of the Uyghur ethnic minority into concentration camps.
“My new year’s resolution is to look at the bright side of life,” said People’s Republic of China President Xi Jinping, “so that’s what I’m trying to do. Sure it’s taking longer than I thought to control all telecommunications, but the silver lining is that we’re not being held accountable for the ongoing human rights abuses of the Uyghur ethnic minority.
Huawei’s possible misuse of users’ data is the latest in a long series of things that the western press would rather report on than atrocities against the Uyghurs. Previous topics include: internet censorship; a trade war; the entirety of the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games; the recent Coronavirus outbreak in Wuhan; and the fact that President Xi looks like Winnie the Pooh.
China has also reportedly planned several new distracting stories in the coming months, including claiming sovereignty over Newfoundland, building a second great wall, and having President Xi finally dress like Winnie the Pooh.
“Yes I live in constant fear and terror,” said Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Region resident Turghun Balasaghuni. “But I get it, we’ve already been reported on so it’s boring now and CNN needs to keep their viewership up.”
In a related story, Prime Minister Trudeau is grateful that Peter MacKay tweeting about his yoga is distracting from a lack of clean drinking water on reserves.
