WINNIPEG – Showing an absolute resolve in their dedication to the A&W fast-food chain, loyal Winnipeggers were still making orders through the drive-thru despite the restaurant being consumed by flames.
While fire crews bravely battled the fire at Main Street and Inkster Boulevard, more heroic deeds were occurring in the parking lot as hungry customers patiently waited to hear the confirmation from an employee on a headset who evacuated the building two hours ago.
“I’ll take a Double Teen Burger with fries, a Papa Burger without mayo, and an Uncle Burger,” said one patron to a melting intercom. “Hello?…Oh, and a large root beer! Did you get all that?”
Cars full of insatiable connoisseurs of hamburgers, onion rings, and sweet potato fries ignored the heavy smoke pouring out of the drive-thru window as they hummed and hawed at their options.
“The burgers should be done faster if it’s over 2,000 degrees in there,” said one local man waiting for his Chubby Chicken. “God, what the hell is taking them so long? Seriously, I don’t think being on fire is really an acceptable excuse for this kind of slow service.”
By sunrise, the charred remains of the business continued to receive customers ordering from the now warped breakfast menu.
This demonstration of unflinching customer loyalty has not inspired the city since the 1997 Flood when a group loyal 7-11 customers attempted to purchase Slurpees despite the store being under 8 feet of water.