NEW YORK CITY – After two years of advocating “western chauvinism” in the form of wearing Fred Perry golf shirts and not masturbating it appears that far right group the Proud Boys are really gonna keep going with that name.
“The Proud Boys are a group of extremist, borderline Nazis who want to use fear and intimidation against those they disagree with,” said Elena Chavez of the Southern Poverty Law Centre. “And they have a name that sounds like something the Little Rascals rejected for being too corny.”
“I mean, do they sit and rant about minorities in a tree fort while sipping from their juice boxes,” she added with a snort laugh.
Since being founded by former Vice writer and current rambling drunk Gavin McInnes in 2016, the Proud Boys have interrupted indigenous protests, staged college campus demonstrations, and had numerous scuffles with Antifa, all without ever once questioning whether their name sounds really, really dumb.
“Even when they’re swinging bats at you it’s kind of hard to take them seriously knowing that, I shit you not, they’re named after an Aladin song that wasn’t even in the movie but was added in later for the stage show,” said Antifa member Darius Knight.
However a number of Proud Boys were shocked by the suggestion they should change their name.
“Why would we ever change it?” asked Kevin Cartwright. “It’s concise, fun, and accurate. We are proud boys. Very proud boys. Some would say the proudest boys.”
Unfortunately for the Proud Boys their latest rally did not proceed after they were upstaged by a new, very powerful, political group: the Ashamed Moms.
