TORONTO – Local man Kevin Meyer, debilitated by the effects of high temperatures, has been repeatedly told by friends and family not to complain about the heat because several months from now the weather will be cold.
“Don’t you dare complain about the heat!” commented facebook friend Dylan Trout alongside a photo of an undisclosed location in which several cars appear to be covered in snow. Trout’s comment was on a post Meyer made noting that he had been vomiting and suffering from fever for the past 48 hours.
“Just think about how cold you’ll be in a few months” added another friend, apparently suggesting that Meyer should alter his core body temperature to what it will be come winter in an effort to understand why his current suffering is not actually that bad.
Meyer’s other symptoms include headache, flushed skin and ‘bumming everyone else at the cottage out’ according to his father.
Heat stroke is a serious condition that if untreated can lead to organ failure. However most doctors agree that it is nowhere near as serious as the road traffic that occurs after a major snowfall.
“Medically speaking, if you complain about the heat, you must by definition love the cold” advised Dr. Albert Hoskins of Toronto Western Hospital. “To dislike both extreme heat AND extreme cold is simply unheard of.”
At press time it turned out Meyer was one of those guys who wears shorts all winter, so fuck him.
