OTTAWA – Speaking to reporters on the lawn of his placid retirement community, your grandpa announced this morning that he had had a vivid nightmare yesterday in which the Minister of Democratic Institutions Karina Gould breastfed her three-month-old son during question period inside the House of Commons.
“Heavens to Betsy, you won’t believe how real it seemed!” raved Grandpa, a haunted look passing over his eyes. “Not only was there a woman in the House, and not only was she breast feeding…but the questions were about making the marijuana cigarettes legal.”
The aging man tossed and turned in his sleep imagining that an elected official would shamelessly provide the necessities of life to her infant while Parliamentarians discussed the consequences of legalizing a drug that’s arguably less potent than alcohol.
Luckily, the retiree went on to explain, he awoke this morning and was instantly refreshed by the elation and relief that comes with knowing that such frightful visions had been left behind in the shadowy realm of Morpheus.
At this point, your grandma ducked in to add that she’d had a dark, dystopian vision of all the gays marching in the streets in a few days.
