HAMILTON – After securing a new position as Leader of the Official Opposition, Ontario NDP leader Andrea Horwath says she’s looking forward to having no power still when the provincial government returns from summer break.
Horwath says she’s excited to bring 20 years of experience having no power into her new role, where her duties will include expressing disapproval over decisions other people get to make, and explaining to Doug Ford what the provincial government actually does.
“I look forward to being quoted briefly in the third paragraph of articles about the new Sarnia subway,” Horwath told reporters this morning. “Ontarians can rest assured I will not abuse my lack of power.”
According to Horwath’s chief of staff Michael Balagus, “Andrea is excited to make this momentous transition in her career from an opposition party leader with no power, to an opposition party leader with no power and slightly bigger office.”
Sources close to Horwath indicate she plans to spend her summer practising key Leader of the Opposition skills including being outraged, and denying knowledge of party scandals. Horwath is also running drills to test how fast she can kick MPPs out of the caucus following sexual harassment allegations and/or election fraud.
Analysts suggest Horwath is playing the long game and assuming Doug Ford will fuck up enough that Ontarians might take a chance on her in four years — unless a white man becomes leader of the Liberal party.
At press time, Mike Schreiner has announced his plan to rule Guelph with an iron fist.
