WINDSOR, ON – Early reports indicate that some pompous prick is far too good to walk up a set of stairs one step at a time like the rest of us.
Nathaniel Smeeton, a conceited university student, thinks he’s so big and smart by skipping every second step in a vain attempt to show his superior stair-climbing abilities.
Mr. Wide-Stride demonstrated his clear sense of superiority by passing the single-step plebs who will never be as exceptional or efficient as he is.
“Well, la dee dah,” said one woman who was passed by Smeeton. “Not every step is good enough for him, I guess. I hope he remembers me when he reaches the top.”
Sources have confirmed that the cocksure git makes an extra effort to get up stairs regardless on whether he’s in a hurry.
