EDMONTON – Alberta premier Rachel Notley gave a press conference today in which she outlined her concerns about a massive spill of environmentalism from across the British Columbia border.
“Environmentalism seeps deep into the B.C. soil and is a central pillar of their economy,” said Notley, “but that does not mean Albertans will tolerate the dangers of the diluted product contaminating our land. We need to put a restriction on the amount of environmentalism that is pumped across Alberta until we complete studies on its effects. What if some spilled into our pristine tailing ponds? We might have to try to protect ducks or something!”
“At this juncture we are not convinced that it is healthy to contaminate the highly refined Alberta NDP product with the more crude B.C. NDP output.”
Notley’s words drew a stinging rebuke from B.C. Premier John Hogan: “Premier Notley is engaging in sandal-rattling. This is not an Alberta-B.C. issue. This is a Canada-Alberta issue – plus most of Saskatchewan and sometimes Newfoundland and Labrador.”
“We think the Alberta NDP’s actions are unconstitutional and we will take them to court as soon as possible. We will make it mandatory to teach global warming and show David Suzuki documentaries in Alberta public schools. I swear we will pump out our environmental message, probably using power generated by Site C.”
In the meantime the B.C. NDP has struck back by suspending exports to Alberta of any TV series filmed in Vancouver.
