PYEONGCHANG – For the first time in Canadian Olympic history, Canada’s women curlers will not be returning with a medal as the team decided to allow other countries a chance to win an Olympic medal.
Team Canada humoured their opponents by making poor decisions and missing key shots demonstrating Canada’s generosity and kindness. Skip Rachel Homan even burned a rock in a game against the Danes to show that they were trying to be competitive.
“I really felt bad for the British,” said Homan who intentionally shit the bed in the 10th round losing 6-5. “Team Canada has five medals since 1998; [Britain] only has two. We didn’t want to appear greedy.”
The team’s coach explained that his curlers gave it their all by yielding to more deserving countries such as China or Sweden.
“Well, we had to lose to the Koreans as we didn’t want to appear like we were ungrateful guests,” said Coach Adam Kingsbury on a 6-8 loss to the host country last week. “And I made sure I did my part by yelling ‘choke!’ everytime Rachel released a rock.”
Team Canada will be in attendance at the medal ceremony to congratulate the winners and give out thank-you cards to all of the participants.
“At the end of the day, friendship is more important than winning at the Olympics,” added Homan.
