DEER LAKE, AB – Coming to light several weeks after the incident, local man Jared Nelson, admits that his sending of thoughts and prayers over social media, to express heartfelt regret over the national tragedy that struck at the time, was delayed by several minutes, due to scrolling through Pornhub just a little longer before eventually getting around to it.
“My deepest condolences to the victim’s families,” said Nelson, on his Facebook profile, who only moments before was watching two redheads go at it. “It all seems so senseless.”
Nelson now admits he saw the news alert of the calamity popped up on his phone, and he wanted to do the right thing by expressing the same loss that everyone else was expressing, but the emotional crutch of free and immediate erotic imagery proved far too tempting.
“Truthfully, I had like twelve tabs on my browser open and I had to get through all of the incognito ones first,” said Nelson.
At press time, Nelson admits if a national tragedy were to strike right now, the same thing would probably happen again.
