MONTREAL – After what was surely a rousing evening of eating, drinking, and celebrating, local man and self identifying bon vivant Kennedy Allen is currently throwing up in the sandbox of a children’s park.
“That’s our Kennedy,” said close friend Martin Gagnier. “He’s just a guy who really goes out and grabs life by the horns, and what’s better proof that he’s living his best life than the image of him keeled over and evacuating a toxic amount of alcohol at 4:00am?”
Allen’s friends went on to describe in detail how after a day spent doing nothing of note, Allen, announcing that he wanted ‘celebrate life’ tonight, went on to do so by consuming eight pints of Boréale Blonde and two shish taouk platters before arriving to his current situation.
“Now that’s someone with panache,” said Billy Tsu, rubbing Allen’s back as he continued blowing chunks into a public park where children will play tomorrow morning as their parents consider moving away from the downtown core. “I wish I had that kind of joie de vivre.”
Allen’s friends, after stopping him from redirecting into a recycling bin, have refuted others who claim that being a bon vivant is more about living for your passions every day and not being afraid to treat yourself within reason.
“No way. Kennedy knows that it’s all about snap decisions and never saying no,” said Gagnier, unaware that his friend will be utterly incapacitated for the next 24 hours. “He lives by one rule: ‘if it feels good, do it,’ and right now he’s telling us that it feel good to vomit.”
“Isn’t that right bud—oh shit, is he awake?”
At press time, Allen had additionally cemented his identity as a ‘risk taker’ and ‘someone who lives on the edge’ after being detained for a drunk and disorderly outside his ex’s apartment.
