TORONTO – Catalyst Canada, a non-profit organisation whose mandate is to further the advancement of women in the workplace, has just replaced their former chair, human man, Bill Downe, with other human man, Victor Dodig. The organisation has suffered some criticism over the hiring choice being painfully at odds with their vocation, but Dodig has defended himself by pointing to the numerous female humans he interacts with socially on a regular basis.
“Why take Julia, I know her, in accounting. And Martha, and Lilian I think her name is… Point is, I’ve had many women friends in my life and I feel, by now, I’ve gotten more than the gist of their day-to-day problems, and more than once, too!” exclaimed Dodig, sharing a laugh with the 64% of his new fellow directors who are also men.
“It’s really not that complicated. It’s just so hard to find women qualified enough to help other women, but we’ll keep trying! That’s a promise!”
Catalyst has released a statement detailing how Dodig is “a really great guy” and has made big efforts to create gender inclusive workspaces – including making himself available for this key position. They claim “He’s got that fresh male perspective women need to get out of this mess.
“My wife and I often go on double dates with our neighbours, John and Carole.” shuckles Dodig, “And, oh boy! When John excuses himself to use the washroom, well, I’ll be damned if I don’t feel like one of the girls! I mean, I really get it, all the issues and stuff.”
At time of press, women across the nation have been screaming into their pillows again.
