WASHINGTON DC – After a string of resignations from his manufacturing council, President Donald Trump has decided to outsource all of the positions to Chinese business leaders.
Trump first made the announcement in a tweet stating that he was “Rather than putting pressure on the American manufacturing council, I have handed off the responsibility to some other country. AMERICA FIRST!”
The council, once made up of the country’s biggest CEO’s was created in an effort to innovate the American manufacturing market. But when several of the members suddenly resigned the President made the change and blamed the departures on the alt-left.
“The CEOs were just doing their jobs peacefully until the alt-left came and started attacking them for their amazing work,” the President said as he signed the paperwork to transfer the positions. He later added, “And from my experience the only people who can manufacture things anymore are the Chinese. Plus they can revitalize the American workforce for half the price. Win win!”
Republican leaders such as Paul Ryan praised the President’s move. “It is my belief that focusing only on American manufacturing limits us as a nation and goes against free market ideas. Our country’s prosperity depends on our relationship with the world, specifically the part of the world where worker rights are still a foreign concept.”
The White House published a press release further clarifying their stance on the sudden change, “The President is committed to ensuring that all Americans have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of offshore exploitation.”
