OTTAWA — Ducking merrily into a spray of confetti, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced this morning that from now on he would be travelling exclusively by pride parade.
“This is the 21st century,” the PM declared, “and maybe in my father’s day it was normal to go from meeting to meeting in a dour, grey town car, but times have changed, and Canada must change with them.”
“Pride parades are inclusive, eco-friendly, and just an explosion of joy and camaraderie,” Trudeau continued. “Contrary to popular myths, they are not significantly slower than onerous, black sedans with tinted windows, and are actually far more fuel efficient.”
Though this news has been met with ebullience, mirth and regular intervals of vigorous maraca shaking by fringe communities around the country, critics are vocal about the dangers and drawbacks of this country’s highest office travelling daily at the head of a gregarious pride parade.
“This government’s priorities are appalling,” opposition leader Andrew Scheer told reporters. “Omar Khadr is probably out there right now driving around in a brand new Human Rights March”
