EDMONTON – Philip Diiks and Jenn Roe, recent graduates preparing to move on and start their life, are confident that their relationship will only be strengthened by living 2000 km from each other.
“I just love Philip so much, he’s the greatest guy ever.” reported Roe, who will be moving to Montreal in 2 weeks “I can’t imagine that there will be anyone in Montreal that will be more interesting or attractive then the guy I met in 2nd year at the University of Alberta.”
A recent study by Concordia University found that there were 107 things in Montreal that were more interesting then calling that guy you dated in university. These things ranged from touring Montreal’s historic sites to banging that cute guy from the apartment down the hall.
“I don’t know why people are acting like it’s such a big deal, it’s not like Tinder will be tempting for people that will not feel each others touch for months on end” said Philip Diiks. “Plus my friend Kate is here to keep me company.”
Indeed Kate Arkins has vowed “to always be around in case Philip needs something, especially if he is really upset or needs comforting”
“The probability of Philip and Jenn staying together is slim.” stated statistician Daphney Okia “although the chance of anyone being happy in a life long monogamous relationship is 1:10000000000000.”
