TORONTO – In an effort to distance themselves from the controversy surrounding President Donald Trump, the owners of the Trump International Hotel & Tower located at Bay & Adelaide in Toronto have elected to change the name to the James Comey Resort & Spa.
“It was bad enough when our hotel was named after a Presidential candidate who bragged about sexually assaulting women, but now with Trump potentially facing obstruction of justice charges we couldn’t go on like this any longer,” said Justin Floyd of J.C.F. Capital, the company that owns the building. “We felt it only appropriate to name the building after the FBI chief Trump fired in a blatant attempt to subvert the investigation against him.”
“Also we’re expanding our Health & Wellness Centre to include a state of the art mudbath!”
On Twitter, President Donald Trump blasted the move:
In addition to the name, the Hotel has changed a number of its features. Instead of “The America Restaurant” visitors can now eat at the “Special Prosecutor Diner.” And rather than encourage customers to “join the Trump lifestyle” the hotel’s concierge strongly recommends guests disclose any and all contact they have had with Russian officials. Finally the penthouse suite will now be known as the “But her emails!” room.
“We feel this rebranding will allow our customers to feel better about visiting our hotel, while still enjoying the gaudy architecture, overpriced cocktails and falling panes of glass that have come to define our presence in Toronto,” added Floyd.
James Comey was unavailable to comment on the story as he was too busy celebrating the fact that everyone has forgotten he is the reason Trump is President in the first place.
