A new player has appeared at the game-board of Washington, D.C., and is quickly positioning themselves as the power behind the throne.
Who is this mysterious and formidable figure? Donald J. Trump’s new personal support worker, Mrs. Ocampo.
Although a relative political outsider, Mrs Ocampo has already established herself as a force to be reckoned with, replacing Ivanka as the person responsible for calming the president during his frequent attacks, and Sean Spicer as the person who changes his bedpan and wipes him down after he soils himself.
“Everybody really sat up and paid attention when she started taking away his phone at bedtime,” said one unnamed source inside the administration. “It’s the kind of influence over the President that the White House communications staff could only dream of.”
But great standing attracts powerful rivals. Leaked emails reveal Melania Trump thinks Mrs. Ocampo has been stealing items from the Lincoln bedroom, and House Republicans suspect she’s the one behind a series of executive orders written in non-broken english.
Nevertheless, Ocampo is the only one who knows the order in which Mr. Donald has to take his pills, and her influence over the President seems to be growing as he has more and more Bad Days.
“Mrs. Ocampo now has an unprecedented amount of clout for someone without an official title,” said Matt Apuzzo of the New York Times. “From helping him down the stairs, to launching a preemptive nuclear strike against North Korea, to forcing him to eat his mashed carrots, she’s really been driving the agenda in Washington for the past several months.”
And the American people seem to be responding. Since she forced through universalized healthcare and an immigration policy that lets her family come visit her, Ocampo has boosted Republican polling numbers to their highest levels since Donald Trump’s first series of strokes.
