Surrey, BC – City officials in Surrey, British Columbia have announced that they plan on designating a Burning Garbage Bag as the city’s official bird.
Although the decision was made fairly quickly, picking the new official bird was far from easy.
“It was a difficult decision to make,” Surrey Mayor Linda Hepner noted. “We discovered that there are very few birds native to Surrey. In the 1970s there was a homeless man who famously tied rats to kites, but we didn’t want to condone that activity by making it a symbol of civic pride.”
When asked why City Councilors eventually decided to select a Burning Garbage Bag, Hepner explained, “When people think of Surrey they think of either rising housing costs or they think about carjackings and violence. The Burning Garbage Bag is kind of all those things rolled into one. Yes, it is garbage. But it’s garbage that is set alight and flying in the air. We believe this represents renewal and revitalization.”
According to a poll, 74% of Surrey residents agree that a flaming black plastic garbage bag best symbolizes the metro-Vancouver city of over 500,000.
“Quite frankly, I love it,” commented Surrey resident Mike Mitchell while sipping on a can of Lucky Lager and coughing as he inhaled a cigarette. “I mean it screams Surrey. The only thing that would make it better is if they put the BC Lions logo on the front of the bag…Go Lions!”
