GENEVA – After spending 10 minutes carefully cutting his toenails on his desk, Elbio Rosselli, the Permanent Representative of Uruguay to the United Nations, suddenly realized that the entire rest of the UN was staring at him.
“Oh god, that was mortifying,” said Rosselli, after the session had ended. “You think you’re doing some private, uh, you know, taking care of business, and then you look up and not only is Gustavo [Velasquez, representative from Peru] looking at you but the entire assembly is acting like you’re some kind of freak.”
“I mean, what’s my UN Holiday card going to say? ‘Happy Holidays! Sorry I’m such a disgusting political spokesperson for the small nation of Uruguay’.”
This it the first time the UN has ground to a halt due to personal grooming since Ban Ki-Moon spent 5 minutes trying to get a piece of spinach out of his teeth.
