TORONTO – Following yet another quarter of disappointing returns, the Toronto Symphony Orchestra has decided to rebrand itself into a buddy-cop comedy.
“Let’s be frank, most people don’t know the first thing about the subtleties of classical music,” said TSO conductor Peter Oundjian. “But everyone knows that Paluski’s hard-nosed attitude is going to clash with Triggs’ laid-back California charm!”
Concertgoers dissatisfied with stiff, uptight renditions of Bach, Mozart, and Stravinsky are flocking in droves to the revamped TSO to see if Triggs and Paluski can put aside their differences for long enough to take down that corrupt judge.
“It was inevitable, a symphony just can’t compete with the innovative hijinks of the buddy-cop genre. Chopin never wrote a sonata where the K-9 unit won’t stop sniffing at Paluski’s balls,” explained Gary Hanson, interim CEO of the TSO. “Paluski is the tough one!”
Reviews have been unanimously positive as well, going so far as to crown “Paluski and Triggs” as the future of orchestral music.
“I loved that scene where they’re about to catch the bad guy but then Triggs gets distracted by a hot chick and drives off the pier,” said Michael Vincent, composer and classical music reviewer for the Toronto Star. “And the best part is that it was fun for the whole family. Eat it, Brahms!”
At press time, audiences were wondering if the evil Dr. Valentino could ever be caught.
