OTTAWA – In a surprising turn of events this week, Parliament was forced to retake a vote after a pile wet flour was mistaken for NDP leader Thomas Mulcair.
“I just assumed [Thomas Mulcair] shaved his beard,” said Ruth Ellen Brosseau who was seen sitting beside the pile of wet flour for an entire day in Parliament, conferring with it several times.
“I don’t know what’s more depressing, the fact that no one cleaned up a food spill in Parliament, or that someone who could have been Prime Minister was mistaken for gloopy wet flour.”
“Maybe it got spilled when someone was emptying the garbage cans last night,” said head of janitorial services, Israel Foulaeo.
Although this is the first time Mulcair has been mistaken for a pile of wet flour, he has been confused for other items in the past, including a deflated basketball, a failed papier-mâché sculpture, a white t-shirt with some loose hair stuck to it, and once – at the NDP national convention – an angry broomstick.
Confusion erupted in Parliament when Mulcair went to retake his seat the following day. Many were apparently struggling to determine the difference between the NDP leader and the glutenous mass, including Mulcair himself, with several witnesses overhearing him mutter: “It’s like looking in a mirror.”
After the vote was retaken with Tom Mulcair present, the bill passed.
“Although this whole experience has been terribly insulting, I decided to vote the same way as the wet pile of flour,” said a disheartened Tom Mulcair to reporters in a scrum in Centre Block.
After the incident, rumours swirled that the wet pile of flour was mounting a bid for leadership of the New Democrat Party. Those promptly ceased after it was discovered that the flour was mysteriously baked it into a cake.
In an official statement released today, Prime Minister Trudeau said he was, “deeply saddened by the accidental baking of an esteemed parliamentary colleague.”
