TORONTO – Employees at area tattoo parlour Jan Van Inyck have lost track of which decorations in the store have significant meaning and which are only ironic.
“I’m guessing that the all the trout with rosaries hanging off them are some kind of joke,” said Cal Tunston, an employee of two years. “Though now that I look around, there really is a lot of Jesus in here.”
“Are any of you guys Catholic?”
Employees report that they began wondering which decorations were ironic this afternoon, after one customer asked why the store had a trophy buck wearing a wrestling mask.
“There’s definitely a story behind Stag Hart over there,” said Tunston. “Or a joke. One of the two.”
While the origins of most of the decorations have remained unsolved, some have become quite clear on closer inspection.“Nobody ever questioned this bag of garbage with a pair of sunglasses on it, said Margo “The Pip” Pippson, an employee. “But it turns out it’s actually just a bag of garbage, and these are the sunglasses I thought I lost a year ago.”
Some employees attempted to use old photographs of the tattoo parlour to help, but after a few minutes became unsure if the photos were instead from other, identical tattoo parlours they had worked at in the past.
“I’ve been here for eight years,” said current Van Inyck owner Carla Mendelson. “So a while after Big Tom opened the place but longer than anyone else. Big Tom didn’t talk much, no tongue and all, so you had to glean what you could from grunts and sighs. So I can’t tell you about most things, but I’m pretty sure that the bear trap, the bust of Jane Fonda, and the jar of salt had something to do with his first wife.”
At press time, employees had just finished installing a small statue of a dog wearing a white coat to commemorate temp-employee Scott Jensen’s graduation from veterinary school, confident that nobody would forget the obscure meaning behind the decoration in five year’s time.
Photo from Photo: Flickr / Taken by David Jones CC by 2.0 via http://bit.ly/2bJXH0R
