MONTREAL – Harry Shield is looking for a gift for his bride-to-be’s birthday, which is next tuesday or wednesday or thursday – ever since she stopped listing her birthday on Facebook, Harry hasn’t been sure.
Siobhan O’Reilly, who has been with Harry for five years now, was not trying to make life harder for future husband. “I was tired of getting birthday messages from people I hadn’t seen since elementary school and who didn’t even get along with me back then. Last year, my phone vibrated so often with facebook notifications that I developed a bruise on my leg,” she said. “That’s why I took the date down; I only want birthday messages from people who care enough to know when it is.”
That leaves Harry in a mighty pickle.
“I hope she doesn’t read too much into this,” he protested. “It’s just that the information was online. Why would I have bothered to learn it? I figured it would always be there.”
Faced with the sudden disappearance of the information he once took for granted, Harry has resorted to desperate measures.
“He’s been asking a lot of questions about the circumstances of her birth lately,” observed Siobhan’s mother, as she leafed through photo albums with her prospective son-in-law.
Siobhan has also been left perplexed as to why her fiancée tells so many birther jokes. “Who does he think he is asking for my birth certificate,” she asked, “Donald Trump?”
Harry hopes that Siobhan doesn’t read too much into the increasingly-likely scene where he gives her a birthday card on the wrong day.
“It’s just like her phone number,” he opined, “I don’t know it by heart but it’s #1 in my speed dial. If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is.”
