OTTAWA – Prime Minister Stephen Harper finally agreed to meet with an assembly of Aboriginal leaders on January 11th, after bowing to pressure from his animal spirit guide, Odjiig.
“It is after careful consideration between myself, advisors, and Odjiig, the earthly, yet ethereal messenger-being, that I have decided to meet on January 11th with various chiefs of the First Nations of Canada to begin a dialogue,” said the Prime Minister in a statement released last week.
Odjiig, the weasel spirit, who shares Harper’s strength, cunning and singularity of purpose, had kept a vigil outside the Prime Minister’s residence as an omen of warning to repair relations with the First Peoples of Canada.
“He first noticed me as he was coming home from a celebration of the new year,” said the wise and powerful messenger weasel.
“I stood in his path and our gazes locked. As the great moon reflected in his eyes I saw into his spirit and could tell he knew my purpose. But his mind was resistant, blaming my appearance on the consumption of half-a-glass of sparkling fire water.”
But not for lack of trying, the persistent totem practiced a medicine of patience, attempting to convince the Prime Minister at every opportunity.
“Later that night I gazed through his window while he watched CNN and tried to pretend that I did not exist. That night, I placed the feather of the mighty eagle upon his pillow while he slept, but to no avail. Feeling thwarted, I took a subtler tack and let the air out of his tires,” said the musteline messenger of natural balance and oneness with all creations.
Before he relented to the guide’s demands, Odjiig’s presence took a clear emotional toll on the Prime Minister. One aide who wished to remain anonymous recalled an incident.
“[Harper] asked me to walk him home last week. When we got to his residence, he told me to go ahead of him and see if the weasel was still in his yard. Usually he uses that term to talk about [Thomas] Mulcair, so I asked him why he thought the NDP leader would be in his yard. Suddenly he looked embarrassed, and ran inside.”
Even after obtaining Harper’s pledge, Odjiig’s work remained far from done. In fact, Harper agreeing to meet publicly with the chiefs appears to be just one in a series of recent unexpected policy actions, seemingly resulting from the spectre of Odjiig’s weasel guidance. These include increased funding to national parks, support for the creation of a Palestinian state, and millions of dollars in research into animal spirit guides and how to get rid of them.
