QUEBEC CITY – After spending 92,345 days at sea, French Marines finally arrived to reinforce the French garrison in Quebec City.
The 250 men of the Troupes de la Marine swiftly scaled the cliffs of the Plains of Abraham and set up camp.
“We are looking to rendezvous with the forces of General Montcalm and our native allies” said a young lieutenant in 18th century French to bewildered park staff. “We are ready to fight. Vive le Roi!”
18th century soldiers examine a pick-up truck in the parking lot of the Info Centre at the bottom of the Plains of Abraham.
Despite looking dishevelled from centuries of living on the high seas and enduring a long standing labour dispute over vacation hours, the men never broke their spirits or ignorance about the Treaty of Paris that ended the hostilities some 249 years ago.
“I believe the British positions are located above this hill” explained Colonel Pierre-Joseph Le Loutre while pointing at a location between the jogging path and souvenir stand on a park map. “Wolfe will be exposed on his left flank; that stupid piece of merde has made his last mistake!”
Tourists were delighted to see what they thought was an unscheduled military demonstration. “I didn’t know they had a show on at 1:55!” exclaimed Mary Tanner visiting from Waterville, Maine while posing with a few of the soldiers. “Their costumes are so convincing, and their their small pox scars and terrible dental hygiene really make it feel authentic.”
The French forces attempted a surprise attack to seize the sports field by slowly marching towards it in two ranks to the beat of a snare drum. However, the force promptly dispersed after being confronted by park security for not having day passes.
