VATICAN CITY – Pope Benedict XVI, Bishop of Rome and Servant of the Servants of God, has not been returning God’s phone calls, according to Pontifical Household sources.
“It’s really awkward because we’re always trying to come up with some excuse for why Pope Benedict can’t come to the phone whenever the big guy calls,” said Father Wojciech Giertych, a member of the Papal family. “What can you say, really? That he’s in the shower? It’s pretty humiliating trying to come up with an excuse to someone who is omniscient. Lately we’re just letting it go to voice mail. It’s been a few months now.”
When asked if he would speak to God anytime soon, the Pope said he’d try to send Him a text later in the week.
with files by Steve Baerwald
