OTTAWA – Charlie Sheen will be named Canada’s next Prime Minister after winning a majority government on Monday.
“Tonight, this great country has voted for winning,” announced Sheen in a victory speech from Ottawa late last night, where he consistently repeated his slogan of, “Can’t is the cancer of happen” to an enthusiastic crowd.
“I promise all of you, I will work hard to ensure the next four years
are good to Canadians.”
Earlier today, Charlie Sheen and Stephen Harper spoke in their home riding of Calgary Southwest, where Harper lost his seat to Sheen.
Conservative party leader Stephen Harper announced his resignation following the loss.
“These people of Canada have chosen [Sheen] to lead a majority government. I wish him the best,” Harper said. “We differ on many issues, but we both share the desire for our country to thrive.”
“To win,” Sheen interrupted.
Sheen, who kept a low profile early in his campaign, was able to capture the public’s attention by sharpening his electoral focus in the last few weeks. He relied on social media platforms, predominantly Twitter, to broadcast his party’s message to a large following and rally supporters.
Political analysts were amazed by how deftly Sheen’s nuanced stance on health-care, the economy, and the environment managed to sway voters towards his relatively new party.
Sheen was also able to capture a significant portion of votes from the Bloc Quebecois. During his Quebec tour he presented a masterful plan that would promote the Francophone culture while marrying it to the larger multicultural fabric of Canada.
As the campaign progressed, Sheen’s popularity in the polls steadily increased. The voting populace warmed to Sheen for his everyman personality, which offered a stark contrast to that of Harper and Ignatieff.
Even when faced with tough questions he kept his cool.
“His wit really came across during the live debate on The Agenda,” said Evan Soloman, host of CBC’s Power and Politics. “For example, when Elizabeth May brought up the importance of animal habitat conservation, and Sheen pointed out that he in fact had tiger blood, quite a few of us behind the scenes had a good chuckle. We all needed a bit of comic relief after listening to May for that long.”
“He can be funny like that,” a Sheen supporter explained. “But at the end of the night his policy on Afghanistan and the realistic exit strategy he laid out really won me over.”
Sheen spent the last weeks of the campaign going after competing candidates, which he accused of being “anti-winning,” a strategy that paid off at the polls.
Sheen’s independent government picked up 68% of the popular vote and 163 seats, an increase of 163 seats.
with files by Amir Ahmed
