IQALUIT – For many years, it has been common practice for Canadian senior citizens to travel south over the winter, seeking warmer climates, limited contact with anyone born after 1956, and…
Tag: winter
Nova Scotians celebrate annual Why The Fuck Does Anyone Live Here Day
HALIFAX – Nova Scotians have found themselves in a celebratory mood today, as citizens celebrate their annual local custom, Why The Fuck Does Anyone Live Here Day, a tradition dating back t…
6 long winter coats that say “I’m definitely wearing pajamas under here”
Winter is full of small joys – like sipping hot chocolate by the fire, looking at twinkly Christmas lights, and stomping all over snow forts that children spent hours building. But the absolute b…
“WTF is happening today?” wonder drivers as white stuff falls from sky
WINDSOR, ON – In a baffling series of events, drivers in Southwestern Ontario are wondering “WTF is happening today?” as white stuff falls from the skies. The day started as a typical grey …
Apple farmers to spend winter relaxing, inventing 50 000 new varieties
Hemmingford, QC – Local apple farmer, Bud Timberson, just finished the last of his deliveries for the season and he’s quite excited about it. “Well my back hurts, my feet hurt, but overall …
“Spring in Canada is so beautiful” says woman about to experience months of grimy dirt snow on the side of roads
BURLINGTON, ON – Penny Collier, 31, recently claimed to some international friends that “springtime in Canada is so beautiful”, clearly not remembering the endless months follow…
Yellowjackets tells harrowing tale of Americans trying to cope with Canadian winter
VANCOUVER – The Vancouver-shot television show Yellowjackets has returned for another highly anticipated season and audiences are clambering to watch the horror that will unfold as a group …
Four tips for mental wellness that don’t do shit because it’s dark at fucking 4pm
It’s important to do everything possible to stay ahead of the winter blahs, especially as the long nights drag on and January’s icy grasp makes you want to leave this frigid mortal coil. Luckily,…
Vancouver considers buying a second snowplow
VANCOUVER — In a shocking turn of events, Vancouver city officials have announced the city may soon be making the landmark purchase of a second snowplow. Residents of the usually mild-weathered …
