Beloved Readers, When we started The Beaverton we were just a bunch of smartasses trying to make each other laugh during our weekly meeting on the second floor of a disgusting pub behind Honest E…
Tag: The Beaverton
The Beaverton Guide to Toronto for Americans who swiped all the Taylor Swift tickets
Congrats American Swifties! You guys managed to buy a huge amount of the tickets for Taylor’s only appearance in the entire country of Canada! You could have got tickets to literally any of…
Read our letter threatening to sue Mark Zuckerberg
Meta was stopping people from seeing our content so we took action…
We replaced all our writers with ChatGPT. Here are its first 10 headlines!
Great news everyone! Just like other friendly media sites who exist to remind you of pop culture moments you vaguely enjoyed while selling you a mattress in a box, we’ve gone ahead and fired all …
Beaverton Election Special to reveal who will secure the crucial Beaverton endorsement
Toronto – Producers of beloved satirical website and international television phenomenon The Beaverton announced today that they would be revealing which party had secured the coveted Beave…
New summer episodes of The Beaverton to finally lay the smackdown on BBQs and cottage weekends
TORONTO – With its third season premiering July 23rd at 10pm on CTV, and episodes running Tuesdays at 10 throughout the summer, tv satire series The Beaverton is finally being given a chanc…
Report: Ford gov actually shut down to avoid mockery from new episodes of Beaverton tv show
TORONTO – Sources within the Ford administration revealed today that the real reason the government took a sudden, extremely lengthy summer hiatus was to avoid being made of fun by the new …
CTV orders Beaverton ‘Year In Review’ NYE Special to put final nail in 2018’s coffin
TORONTO – As part of their plan to say good bye and good riddance to 2018, The Beaverton will air a One Hour New Year’s Eve Special on CTV at 10pm EST. “Unless we spend an hour …
Bell Media prepares for Doug Ford era by renewing The Beaverton for a third season
TORONTO – In what will surely be remembered as the most consequential news of the day, Bell Media has elected to renew The Beaverton for a third season. “Statistically speaking, Doug Ford i…
CTV orders Beaverton New Year’s Eve special so funny, it will almost make 2017 worth it
TORONTO – In a move designed to lessen the terrible horror humanity has endured in 2017, CTV has commissioned a ‘year in review’ special from the Beaverton to air New Year’s Eve at 10pm. “O…