AVONLEA – An ancient Canadian curse has been discovered on the original manuscript of Anne of Green Gables, demanding the book be adapted every five years, or else. The curse was first disc…
Tag: Television
Millennial Christmas party evacuated as guests run out of TV shows to talk about
TORONTO — Guests at a holiday party hosted by millennial couple Elaine Royce and Andray Parker were evacuated by first responders as their guests realized they had run out of TV series to m…
Friend promises TV show is really good once you get past the first three seasons
KITCHENER, ON – Local friend Nadia Ramirez insists her favourite TV show gets really good after you suffer through the first three seasons, and also most of season 5. Ramirez has reportedly not s…
HGTV greenlights dream renoviction show
TORONTO, ON- Inspired by the hot renoviction trend in major cities across the nation where tenants are ousted from their apartments under the pretext of improvements, network executives for Home …
Actor Luke Perry dies at age – what? 52 years old? That can’t be right
HOLLYWOOD — Following a sudden stroke, beloved actor Luke Perry has died in hospital at the age of, huh, 52, okay there is no damn way that Dylan McKay was 52 years old. Known worldwide for…
Fan theory suggests “Wheel of Fortune” and “Jeopardy!” take place in same universe
LOS ANGELES – The internet is running wild with speculation today as a new fan theory surfaced on Twitter spreading its way across various other social media sites with the suggestion that…
Sir Topham Hatt resigns amid allegations of being “weird with the trains”
ISLAND OF SODOR – Sir Topham Hatt, the longtime controller of the North West Railway on the Island of Sodor, resigned at a press conference yesterday after several reports surfaced of bizar…
Television cast too attractive
LOS ANGELES – In a wanton disregard for verisimilitude, casting directors announced the leading cast for an upcoming medical drama on Friday, which, according to sources, will feature actor…
Westworld Season 2 Spoilers: The Park is just the Man in Black’s finished basement
As Season 2 of Westworld premiers, here are a few choice spoilers the Beaverton has obtained: 1) The Park is just the Man in Black’s Finished basement You’ll notice in Season 1, lots of questions…
Netflix greenlights reboot of 64,000-year-old cave painting
LOS GATOS, CA – Following the success of reboots/sequels like Fuller House, Gilmore Girls and Lost In Space, Netflix is now looking at humanity’s oldest artistic endeavor as a fresh yet pal…