SUDBURY, ON – Local man Nick Jacobs declared this weekend that he was confident in his pro-life stance despite making every pro-choice argument there is. Eight minutes after arriving at his…
Tag: Sudbury
Summer camp cancellations deprive millions of tweens access to first-base
MUSKOKA, ON – After the news that overnight camps would be suspended this year due to the COVID-19 pandemic, millions of tweens were left heartbroken upon the realization that this would no…
Millennial contract killer struggles in gig economy
TORONTO – As the gig economy continues to devastate any sense of job security among millennials, the hitman industry has been one of the hardest hits. “Jesus Christ, I mean, you’ve got civilian U…
Ontario pot plan requires all recreational users to smoke in single basement in Sudbury
TORONTO – Unveiling their new plan for how recreational weed will be consumed moving forward the Ontario Liberals have announced that all would be smokers will need to gather at a single ba…
Charlie Angus admits he’s the NDP Candidate in bed with the Muslim Brotherhood
TIMMINS, ON – After Jagmeet Singh’s recent event was interrupted by an islamophobe accusing him of colluding with the Muslim Brotherhood, rival NDP candidate Charlie Angus has admitted he i…
Local man manages to turn belch into words ‘I love you’
WINDSOR, ON – Shortly after the Chinese take-out dinner he ordered in celebration of his wife’s birthday, local man Bryce Mulwich has managed to turn an enormous burp into the words ‘I love…