TORONTO – After the Leafs’ loss in game 7 overtime, local man Tate Rae has told family and friends that he needs time to come to terms with the life-shattering event. “It just doesn’t seem …
Tag: NHL
Crosby has head surgically removed in order to play out rest of playoffs
PITTSBURGH, PA – Following his recent concussion Penguins captain and NHL leading scorer Sidney Crosby underwent a new elective surgery this morning to separate his head from his body in an…
Under Nonis, Leafs to phase out hockey, shift focus to long-range telecommunications
TORONTO – Since taking the Maple Leafs GM position just a few days ago, Dave Nonis has implemented sweeping changes to improve the struggling organization, most notably cutting waste, re-en…
TSN anchor cries tears of joy while reporting end of NHL lockout
TORONTO – Mid-way through announcing the end of professional hockey’s 113 day lockout, TSN Sportscentre anchor Darren ‘Dutchy’ Dutchyshen broke down in tears, declaring it “the end of [his]…
On day 104 of NHL lockout, Brian Burke reflects on most successful season as Leafs GM
TORONTO – With the NHL lockout nearing its original end date of December 30th, Toronto Maple Leafs General Manager, Brian Burke, took a moment to reflect on his most successful season with …
BREAKING: Sidney Crosby out for remainder of CBA negotiations with concussion-like symptoms
NEW YORK – The NHLPA suffered a serious blow today as Pittsburgh Penguins’ forward Sidney Crosby told reporters he will be out indefinitely after experiencing concussion-like symptoms. The …
Citing rising allowance costs, Gary Bettman locks his children out of the house
WESTCHESTER, CT – Saying his household could no longer keep up with the dramatic increase in money being paid toward their allowance, embattled NHL commissioner Gary Bettman took the bold s…
Messier a LEGO man
A startling discovery is sending shockwaves through the NHL after it was revealed that Mark Messier is a LEGO man. A statement released last Wednesday by the NHL accuses Danish toy giant LEGO of …