MANHATTAN, NY – Following a jury’s verdict that he had sexually abused magazine writer E. Jean Carroll in the 1990s and then defamed her, former US president Donald Trump has insisted on hi…
Tag: #MeToo
Hockey Canada board resigns in deference to real victims: Tim Hortons, Nike and Canadian Tire
TORONTO – Hockey Canada’s CEO and board of directors have resigned and finally acknowledged the true victims of a long ordeal that has damaged the sport’s reputation – its corporate s…
Top 3 Arcade Fire albums to listen to super quick before they’re officially canceled
While it might come as a shock to anyone who isn’t a young woman who frequents hipster bars in Montreal, a bombshell article released on Pitchfork has reported that multiple women have come forwa…
Weinstein threatens to sexually assault courthouse unless ending scene of his trial is re-written
NEW YORK – After being found guilty of rape and sexual assault in a landmark verdict today, disgraced film producer Harvey Weinstein immediately begin attempting to sexually coerce the courthouse…
Terrible first date enters 7,200th second
MONTREAL — In a seemingly never-ending sequence of horrible moments, a first date between Melanie Tremblant and Danny Simpson has just entered its 7,200th second and currently shows no signs of e…
QUIZ: Oh God, what now?
It’s been a long week! You’re tired, fed up, and the pizza you’re eating to make yourself feel better is weirdly making you feel worse. But after a long day of staring at a screen, it’s time to r…
Man who sexually harassed coworkers wants everyone to know he sincerely regrets losing his job
CALGARY – A long, bright career ended today following dozens of accusations of sexual harassment against Larry Branson, and he is holding nothing back as he expresses his deep, heartfelt re…
Schick responds to Gillette’s #MeToo ad by releasing misogynistic razor
NEW YORK – In response to Gillette’s powerful advertisement about toxic masculinity, Schick has unveiled a misogynistic razor for those angry and bitter men who feel betrayed. “This product…
Nation’s women ready to start the five stages of grief again tomorrow
OTTAWA – After processing the denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance of the violence they faced today, women across Canada have gone to bed prepared to grieve the inevitable …
“He never tried to eat me,” friends defend cannibal
AJAX, ON — Friends of accused cannibal, Robert Black, are rushing to his defence after a tip to police revealed a freezer full of limbs in the basement of his house. “Look, I know Rob. He’s…