KINGSTON – A recently published multidisciplinary research study at Queen’s University has concluded that yes, you should totally be a DJ. “We rated performance in a variety of categories, …
Tag: kingston
University hazing: first year English Literature students forced to read Milton out loud
KINGSTON – Queen’s University administration is currently investigating a hazing incident involving first year English literature students who were forced to read Books IV to IX of Milton’s…
UPDATE: Nation currently demanding 56th encore from Tragically Hip
KINGSTON, ON – Unable to accept that The Tragically Hip will never again play another song, the entire nation of Canada is requesting that the Canadian rock legends come back out on stage t…
Local woman pulled out of emotional tailspin by mug with “Hope” written on it
Kingston, ON — A local woman was on the verge of breakdown when a heroic mug pulled her back from the edge. What set the mug apart from the average receptacle used to transport hot liquids …
Eighteen-year-old finally mature enough to vote against self-interest
KINGSTON — Having reached the age of eighteen, local man Blake Thompson is reportedly thrilled to at last be old enough to vote in a way that will decrease opportunities and benefits for him now …
Everyone at Entourage screening pretending they walked into wrong theater
KINGSTON – A 7pm showing of the Entourage film at a multiplex theatre in Ontario was attended exclusively by filmgoers who claimed to be there by accident. “Wait, this is the Entourage movi…
Frosh week teaches new undergrads a higher level of groupthink
KINGSTON – Canadian institutions of higher learning are welcoming new frosh this week by teaching them the importance of conformity without critical evaluation at the postsecondary level. T…
Queen’s student wearing Queen’s jacket alerts fellow Queen’s students on Queen’s campus that he too studies at Queen’s
KINGSTON – A student has informed campus colleagues that he is a member of their university by wearing a jacket with his institution’s name emblazoned on the back. “I just wanted to reassur…
University of Waterloo: The Beaverton University Reviews
Name: University of Waterloo Nickname: Ol’ Lotta Geese Motto: 01100101 01101110 01100111 01101001 01101110 01100101 01100101 01110010 01110011 00100000 01101111 01110110 01100101 01110010 0010000…
Queen’s University: The Beaverton University Reviews
Name: Queen’s University Nickname: Ol’ Money, Ol’ Problems Motto: “We go to Queen’s, do you?” History: Founded in 1841 in honour of Queen Victoria’s money, Queen’s University was the…