SIDO, CHAD – While awaiting his daily food ration at this UN-administered camp in Southern Chad, a CAR refugee stated that an Israeli attack of any kind could really bring world attention to the …
Tag: Israel
UPDATE: Same old shit happening in Gaza again
TEL AVIV – Both Palestinian and Israeli sources have confirmed today that the “usual crap” is currently taking place in Gaza, and that they have “fucking had it.” “I’m tired of all this shit,” sa…
Local man successfully avoids saying anything controversial about Israel-Palestine situation
GUELPH, ON – Against all odds local man Jack Whitehall has managed to engage in a carefully nuanced discussion of the current strife between Israel and Palestine without saying anything tha…
Israeli Prime Minister Stephen Harper returns after long visit in Canada
TEL AVIV – After nine long years travelling in Canada to promote his country, Israel’s prime minister Stephen Harper is finally back in his homeland. “From what I have learned, Canada is a …
Israel and Palestine ready to begin undermining new round of peace talks
WASHINGTON D.C. – Three years after the previous talks collapsed, the governments of Israel and Palestine will begin a new round of direct talks in the hopes of achieving new and likely ins…
Harper to First Nations: ‘We must support Israel’
OTTAWA – Addressing the ongoing calls for government commitment to pursue First Nations issues, Prime Minister Stephen Harper released a statement to Aboriginal leaders this Friday morning …
Israel drafts 14-year-old Becky to wage Twitter, Facebook war against Hamas
JERUSALEM – The Israeli Defence Force (IDF) has drafted 14-year-old Becky Anderson to wage a social media war against enemy forces in Gaza. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu approved the …
Rest of world collectively agrees that Spanish and Portuguese are basically the same language
NEW YORK – In a rare moment of near unanimity, the member states of the United Nations General Assembly came together yesterday afternoon passing a motion affirming the fundamental belief t…