LOS ANGELES – A recent press release for the upcoming biographical drama based on the life of actor Sean Bean has implied that it will feature yet another death scene for the actor, best kn…
Tag: hollywood
Channing Tatum revealed to have been trapped at bottom of well for past 4 years
LOS ANGELES – A list actor Channing Tatum’s recent multi-year absence from Hollywood films has been explained after the megastar was found trapped at the bottom of a well. “Good God, I’ve b…
Experts advise melting down your Golden Globes to make an Oscar
LOS ANGELES, CA – With Tom Cruise returning his Golden Globe awards over allegations of a lack of diversity and ethics at the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, PR professionals recommend…
Oscar paparazzi getting great shots of their own laptops
LOS ANGELES, CA – The 93rd Academy Awards are underway, and the socially distanced press is currently getting some great shots of the famous attendees when they appear onscreen during the l…
Hallmark announces holiday movie about woman who realizes her hometown is an irredeemably racist shithole
LOS ANGELES – The Hallmark Channel has announced that it will be expanding its catalogue of original holiday content with a new Valentine’s day movie about a career woman who returns home f…
HBO ready to offer up another Game of Thrones prequel, you sick fucks
LOS ANGELES, CA – HBO reportedly has another Game of Thrones prequel series in development, which they are really hoping is what you fucking people want. Based on George R.R. Martin’s more …
The Golden Globes celebrate Hollywood’s best and brightest bribers
This past Wednesday, the Hollywood Foreign Press released their hotly anticipated nominations for the 2021 Golden Globe awards. After delays due to the global pandemic, the nominations were final…
Best Breakout Actors of 2020 and who their famous dads are!
HOLLYWOOD, CA – Acting is notoriously difficult to break into, but this year’s up-and-comers used hard work to beat the odds! These rising stars have the charisma, drive, and genetic facial…
Hollywood begins search for the right cis actor to play Elliot Page in eventual biopic
HOLLYWOOD – After an announcement by Oscar-nominated Canadian actor Elliot Page that he is trans, major studio executives have begun the search for the perfect cis actor to step into the “E…
The Beaverton’s top five four three two one uncancellable hunks of Hollywood
Guess what, Beav Babes? The annual list you’ve been waiting for is finally here! Every year we assemble a list of five guaranteed unproblematic hot Hollywood hunks that you can crush on, 100% gui…