GATINEAU, QC – Conservative Leader Erin O’Toole has instructed his staff to throw rocks at him at his next election event. “Jimmy, this sympathy [Trudeau] is getting in the press is not fai…
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Erin O’Toole breaks with platform by running for the Liberals
VANCOUVER – In another sudden platform shift, Conservative Party leader Erin O’Toole announced he will run under the Liberal Party banner. O’Toole made the announcement after re…
Sound of three-ring binder snapping shut awakens primal fear in man
ABBOTSFORD, BC — Father-of-two Allen Marks was caught off-guard when he found himself suddenly gripped by white-knuckled horror while taking his children, Angie and Michelle, back-to-school shopp…
Highlights of the Liberals’ election platform
The Liberal Party released their election platform this week. Unfortunately no part of the 82-page document explained why they didn’t just do all of this instead of calling an election. But…
Liberals announce election platform of things they could have easily done before now
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and the Liberal Party have unveiled their 2021 election platform, full of commitments and spending promises they could have easily fulfilled at any ti…
Ryerson University struggles to find unproblematic Canadian historical figure to change name to
TORONTO – After finally agreeing to change the name of their university due their namesake’s role in the residential school system, Ryerson University is currently facing difficulty in find…
Erin O’Toole speaks out against the violent anti-vaxxers whose support he is actively courting
OTTAWA – As aggressive right-wing, anti-vax protestors continue to scream obscenities and shout at staff during Trudeau rallies, Conservative leader Erin O’Toole has called their beha…
Wow! This cat detected his owner’s undiagnosed cancer and isn’t going to do anything about it
Me-Wow! When four-year-old cat Miles noticed his owner’s pallid skin and increasingly sluggish behaviour, he immediately clocked the Stage I carcinoma slowly growing in owner Sophia Reinhart̵…
Trudeau asks Governor General to declare election takesies backsies
OTTAWA – As the Conservative Party surges in the polls, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has asked Governor General Mary Simon to revoke the election writ that dropped two weeks ago, invoking …
