TORONTO – Local father Ray Teramoto has untucked his t-shirt to expose his hairy belly and rub it while watching television, according to sources familiar with the situation. “Tucking in hi…
Tag: Featured Post
“Eh, fuck it”: Montreal F1 driver takes an Uber
MONTREAL, QUEBEC – The annual Montreal Grand Prix has arrived, but one championship-winning Formula One driver decided to forego the traditional lavish displays of the competition and enter…
Carney invites The Mayor from Jaws to G7
“Our trade partnership Amity Island is simply too important.” Luke and the Panel (Nile Seguin, Ian MacIntyre and Clare Blackwood) talk about the ICE protests and Donald Trump turning …
Inventive refs develop new way to help Panthers win beyond the favourable whistle
Sunrise, FL – In a landmark win for referee science, the team of Wes McCauley and Francis Charron have come up with a new way to help the Panthers win: physically blocking Oilers players in…
Carney fights off harsh U.S. authoritarianism with slightly gentler Canadian authoritarianism
OTTAWA — As Americans face the horror of U.S. troops being deployed to American cities on the orders of President Donald Trump to break up peaceful protests, the Canadian government under Prime M…
Carney limits G7 guests to one assassination each
OTTAWA – After inviting Indian PM Narendra Modi Prime Minister Mark Carney issued strict rules for the upcoming G7 meeting in Kananaskis, Alberta, limiting assassinations to one per guest n…
Oil Pipelines getting sick of Danielle Smith talking about them all the time
“We get it lady. Find someone else to talk about 24 hours a day.” Luke and the Panel (Nile Seguin, Megan MacKay and Clare Blackwood) recap the “best first ministers meeting in 1…
Premiers united in belief that the best way to stand up to Trump is doing what they’ve always wanted to do anyways
SASKATOON – As they gather with PM Mark Carney for the meeting of First Ministers, the Premiers of Canada’s provinces are steadfast in their belief that the best way to oppose Donald …
Hockey players shake hands, say there are no hard feelings about the permanent brain damage
MIAMI, FLORIDA – After an intensely violent hockey match, the Florida Panthers have formed a line to shake hands and assure their opponents, the Carolina Hurricanes, that they feel no resen…
Alberta gets head start on life as a U.S. state by banning books
“Next we’ll get started on for-profit prisons!” Luke and the Panel (Clare Blackwood, Ian MacIntyre and Nile Seguin) dive into the Throne Speech, including the absurdity of heari…
