OTTAWA – Following an embarrassing incident in the House of Commons in which a confused Pierre Poilievre began ranting about a terrorist attack in relation to a deadly vehicular accident in…
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Airbnb hosts react to the Liberals’ crackdown on short term rentals
Ottawa has announced plans to curb income tax deductions for short term rental property owners as part of a push to get these properties back on the rental market. We asked several Airbnb hosts h…
Allure of handsome American traveller evaporates when he refers to toque as “beanie”
TORONTO — Jane Pryce’s near hook-up with attractive American tourist Zach Greer was narrowly averted when he unselfconsciously referred to his toque as a “beanie.” The twenty-seven year-old found…
“The wisest people are those that admit when they are wrong,” says man ready to acknowledge that William Nylander is good
TORONTO – Local man Mark Williamson has found the courage within himself to admit that, despite his previous claims, William Nylander is actually one of the best players on the Maple Leafs.…
Board game night becomes debate night
EDMONTON – According to local sources, a board game night at Kevin Telford’s house has evolved into a bitter debate on the fundamental nature of knowledge and the righteousness of following unjus…
How to protest mass slaughter without inconveniencing anyone
As Israel continues to bombard Gaza, causing the deaths of thousands of civilians, you may be wondering how to properly protest without causing a huge scene or bothering people just trying to enj…
Liberals explain why they’re so far behind in the polls
The federal liberals continue to flounder, with poll after poll finding that, if an election were held today, Pierre Poilievre and the Conservatives would secure a massive majority government. We…
Expensive therapist makes higher quality “mmmm” sounds
VANCOUVER — Demand for professional counsellor Lorraine Novak has skyrocketed, thanks to her ability to make particularly empathetic “mmmm” sounds while her clients blab about their miserable liv…
Right-wing, authoritarian broadcaster known for polarizing comments to meet with Tucker Carlson
CALGARY – Criticism is brewing over the baffling choice to invite a right-wing demagogue and prominent anti-vaxxer to meet with Tucker Carlson. “I’m all for free speech,” said Alberta nativ…
Everything Israel is doing to minimize civilian casualties in Gaza
As Israel continues its bombing campaign in Gaza in an effort to destroy Hamas, they are taking a number of steps to minimize civilian casualties. Here they are: 1. Tell the media they are doing …
