OTTAWA – High ranking members of Canada’s Liberal Party were shocked and dismayed by the results of the French election, with Trudeau in particular unable to fathom that Macron’s centrist c…
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Brits replace their right wing party with centrist party for same reasons Canadians will soon replace our centrist party with right wing party
LONDON – In a clear message that voters want to see a progressive, compassionate centrist government, the UK has replaced the Tories with Labour. Just as soon, Canadians will replace the Li…
Americans make odd choice to celebrate decision that led them to this point
“UNITED” STATES OF AMERICA – To the surprise of international observers, millions of Americans chose to celebrate the anniversary of their declaration of independence today, des…
Report: going 2 years without getting paid millions to manage a hockey team sufficient punishment for abetting sexual abuse
NEW YORK CITY – Yesterday the NHL reinstated former Blackhawks staff Joel Quenneville, Stan Bowman and Al MacIsaac, confirming that 2 years is the maximum someone who covered up one sexual …
Security experts agree new password will never love you like the old one did
TORONTO – According to a study conducted by a panel of cybersecurity experts, your new password lacks the special spark of your old one and will never bring you the same joy. “Few people get thro…
Danielle Smith: Trudeau wants Albertans to have teeth and I won’t stand for that
EDMONTON – Alberta Premier Danielle Smith has written an open letter to Prime Minister Justin Trudeau this week announcing Alberta’s intention to opt out of the new federally-funded dental …
Ontario Science Centre closes after roof in danger of collapsing under weight of Doug Ford’s bullshit
TORONTO – After standing for 54 years as a testament to midcentury architecture and a source of memories for generations of young people, the Ontario Science Centre was announced to be clos…
After weeks without water, Calgarians now smell like Edmontonians
CALGARY – After two weeks of restricted access to water for showers, laundry, and other acts of hygiene, sources have reported that Calgarians now smell like Edmontonians do all year long. “Jesus…
Wealthy Canadians announce BMW X3 convoy to protest capital gains tax hike
OTTAWA – Wealthy Canadians have begun a ‘Freegains convoy’ to Ottawa in their BMW X3s in protest of the government’s plan to raise the inclusion rate on annual capital gai…
10 perfectly innocent explanations for why Pierre Poilievre won’t get national security clearance
Pierre Poilievre’s refusal to get a national security clearance so he can read the report on foreign interference in Canada’s elections is raising eyebrows, with many suggesting that …
