Dartmouth, NS – 6 months in, local man Jackson Martin has been reduced to looking back with nostalgia at the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic. “Remember back in March when we were …
Tag: Featured Post
Newly announced BlackBerry phone set to disrupt 2006 tech market
AUSTIN, TX – Mobile security brand OnwardMobility announced today that they will be launching a new version of the BlackBerry phone. Early reports from tech analysts say the device could sh…
Guy who has definitely gotten into a fight at a minor league hockey game wins Conservative leadership
OTTAWA – Moving on from Andrew Scheer The Conservative Party has selected for it’s leader Durham MP and guy who has for sure gotten into a tussle at a minor league hockey game Erin O&…
Party that wants to manage government can’t manage counting a few thousand votes
OTTAWA – The Conservative Party of Canada, a party which would like to be in charge of the whole country, was unable to announce Erin O’Toole’s victory until well after 1am due …
Canada searches for new country to compare ourselves to now that U.S. is too sad
OTTAWA – The Canadian Government announced today that they are searching for a new benchmark country Canadians can compare to now that the situation in the U.S. has reached ‘this is f…
“How could the ref not see that?” yells hockey fan willfully blind to sport’s co-opting by far right
VANCOUVER – Local man Dominic Derkins was furious at the refs for missing an obvious call in last night’s game, wondering if they are hard of sight while he and all other hockey fans …
Report: Clamato still disgusting, delicious
CALGARY – After conducting an exhaustive longitudinal study of scientific research done over the last 60 years, scientists at the University of Calgary have officially confirmed that Clamat…
Oakland cop claims Ujiri’s chest caused permanent injuries to his fists
Oakland, CA – In the wake of a video clearly showing that he assaulted Raptors president Masai Ujiri, Oakland deputy Alan Strickland has amended his lawsuit to claim that Ujiri’s chest and …
Trudeau hopes giving Parliament five week vacation will make them like him again
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced today that Parliament has been doing such a great job lately, he’s rewarding them with almost five weeks of vacation and is confident this l…
Man who knows every word to Eminem’s ‘Lose Yourself’ can’t remember best friend’s pronouns
TORONTO – Well-meaning Kensington Market local Bradford Smith, 26, was found to be inexplicably able to recite famed rap song ‘Lose Yourself’ word-for-word, despite not being able to rememb…
