Surrey, BC – Facebook has released a new relationship option for users who are fucking because they’re in each other’s bubbles. “It’s great,” said Mark Sanchez, who’s been sleeping with his…
Tag: Featured Post
Alberta announces plan to grow VHS industry
EDMONTON – Alberta’s UCP government has announced a sweeping plan to increase the size of Alberta’s VHS industry in an attempt to give the ailing province a much needed economic boost. “For…
Rent luckily winding down the same time as CERB
OTTAWA – With millions still out of work due to the global pandemic, the federal government is stopping the $2000 Canadian Emergency Response Benefit after learning that rent would also be …
“I don’t like him, but I gotta say Ford has risen to the occasion” says man to his dead grandmother
TORONTO – While he did not vote for Doug Ford, local man Daniel Waite has confided that he is pretty impressed with his handling of the COVID crisis to the body of his dead grandmother, who…
Friend asking if you’re doing Sober October this year can fuck all the way off
Selkirk, MB – During a recent Zoom hang your friend Matt asked if you will be refraining from drinking this month, because he’s a piece of shit who should shut his shit mouth. “…
Jason Kenney calls Alberta’s bountiful harvest a ‘godsend,’ oddly cagey about which god
EDMONTON – Jason Kenney has been celebrating the bumper harvest Alberta is expecting to bring in this year, but has been reticent to name which deity he holds responsible for this agricultu…
Fuming Donald Trump tells Putin vaccine didn’t work
WASHINGTON – After testing positive for COVID-19, an irate U.S. President Donald Trump called Russian President Vladimir Putin on Friday morning to tell him that the Russian-made vaccine he was g…
Shredder refuses to denounce Foot Clan
NEW YORK CITY – After telling the Foot Clan to, “stand by”, prominent New York businessman and armoured, ninja guy, Shredder, is under heavy fire for his refusal to denounce the group. “I d…
5 ways to suggest an open marriage that all end in divorce
Though you may not have signed up for an open marriage when you said “I do,” that doesn’t mean you and your spouse can’t rewrite the rules mid-game! Here are five subtle ways to casually bring up…
Group of 14 drinking together at bar claim they are part of same 10 person bubble
Sarnia, ON – A group of 14 people who spent last night drinking and partying in very close proximity to one another say it’s fine because they are all in a 10 person bubble together. …
