OTTAWA – The passion play produced by Ottawa’s St. Francis Xavier Church has drawn attention and controversy this year by crucifying a total stud, according to aroused sources. “Dang, I see our L…
Tag: Easter
Easter Bunny to bring marshmallow Peeps for naughty kids
Easter Island – The Easter Bunny held a press conference yesterday to announce a radical change to the annual egg hunt tradition. Bunny is adding a moral framework to his delivery system, w…
Pope decrees that every Friday is a Good Friday when you’re hanging with your buds
VATICAN CITY – Supreme Pontiff Pope Francis has marked the holiest week on the Christian calendar by reminding Catholics worldwide that it’s important to kick it with your pals. “On Good Friday, …
Easter Bunny freezes eggs to focus on career
BERLIN — The disappointment of millions of children worldwide was palpable Sunday morning after the Easter Bunny announced it would be ‘freezing’ its iconic egg hunt for the foreseeable future in…
Health-conscious man only eats the Cadbury Creme Egg whites
VANCOUVER – Vowing to get back on track after weeks of dubious eating, 26-year-old UX designer Landon Renault reaffirmed his commitment to leading a healthier lifestyle by only consuming th…
Catholic Church assures billionaires that none of their Notre Dame donations will go to poor
VATICAN CITY — Speaking to the handful of billionaires, CEO’s, and corporations that had immediately donated billions of dollars to rebuild the burned Notre Dame Cathedral, Pope Francis ass…
Ultimate April Fools’ prank? Disciples find Christ dead in the tomb
ANCIENT JERUSALEM – The 11 remaining disciples of Jesus Christ were met with a merry prank this April Fools’ morning, after rushing to his tomb to find his body still there and very dead. “…
5 Easter egg hiding places that demonstrate your tactical dominance over your children
Whether it’s lying about a bearded man breaking into the house every Christmas or repeatedly subjecting them to grisly reminders of their own mortality at Hallowe’en, the holidays are about one t…
“I don’t want foreigners bringing their weird traditions to my country,” says man hiding chocolate eggs to honour dead deity
ARBORG, MB – Local man, Edgar Harris, 42, took time out of his annual Easter holiday traditions today to clarify his stance on Canada’s immigration policy, stating that foreigners are ruin…
Christ sees shadow, predicts 6 more weeks of Easter
JERUSALEM – After spending three days sheltered in his underground tomb, Jesus Christ, Our Lord in Heaven, saw His shadow, which means six more weeks of Easter. “Here he comes, here he come…